Dear Miss Manners:
When the subject of my wedding came up, my father’s girlfriend announced that in her day, the father of the bride was only responsible for paying for the alcohol at the wedding reception and maybe the flowers. The mother of the groom was responsible for having a tea to welcome the bride to the family, and all other wedding/reception costs were the responsibility of the mother of the bride.
I have never seen any tradition or etiquette that splits the financial responsibility for a wedding between the parents of the bride, only between the families of the bride and the groom. Is there a traditional split between what each parent of the bride is expected to pay?
I also wondered if there was some split in expected responsibilities between the parents of the bride (i.e., the mother of the bride will manage the food/wedding gown/etc., and the father of the bride will make sure that there’s enough port), but I haven’t been able to find anything in the etiquette books that makes either distinction.