Caught him cheating with his good friend and co-worker, after he had denied it for over a year and repeatedly called me crazy for “seeing something that wasn’t there.” I feel hurt, betrayed and, above all else, gaslighted (gaslit?). I alternate between wanting nothing more to do with him and feeling desperate to fix this. But if he was able to lie to my face for months, and suggest I was the crazy one for suspecting him, is there any chance this can be fixed?
Zero. But your impulse to “fix” it? That can be fixed.
When you’ve been hurt, lied to, humiliated and gaslighted/
looted/lit in such spectacular fashion, it’s an understandable impulse to want to rewrite the ending. Common, too — there’s a reason that crawling back to naughty exes has become a cliche. People crave that new ending: “He really loves ME” . . . “losing me finally woke her up” . . . “I make him want to be a better person.”