“Pregnancy is a strange and bloated time,” Alice Bradley and Eden M. Kennedy write in this satirical guide to being knocked-up. “But more important, it’s a time when every single one of your decisions will leave an indelible and unmistakable imprint on your baby forever.”
So no pressure or anything, right? But the authors of the very funny “Let’s Panic About Babies!” want to calm any anxieties moms-to-be may have about this “small, hairy bowling ball” developing inside them.
For instance, even as the debate continues as to whether fish is safe for expectant mothers to eat, this handbook declares that consuming lox while pregnant will have the rather nasty result of your baby being “born covered in capers.” Also, please be aware that drinking chamomile tea could produce an offspring who enjoys “Hummel figurine-collecting,” and be sure to avoid smoking clove cigarettes because they are “a gateway drug to hacky sack.”