While I’m away, readers give the advice.
I believe that feelings about porn should be included in those initial heavy relationship discussions when you talk about religion, children, anger-management techniques, honesty, gay friends, money, etc. Opposite views on any of these should potentially be enough to call a wedding off. Early in the relationship should be the time the man says, “I view porn on occasion, I would never choose it over you, and it doesn’t affect the way I think about you or behave. I will respect you by not viewing it in front of you, but I will not sneak behind your back to view it or accept you scolding me about it.”
This takes courage because her response might be, “Fine, I’m outta here.” If that happens, it would be painful but better for all involved in the long run.
On friends who aren’t there for you when you need them: