I’m on the phone with Cindy Adams, octogenarian gossip columnist for the New York Post. Cindy graciously agreed to talk to me to discuss her recent column describing Washington, D.C., as a filthy-dirty, disreputable city.
Oh, wait. I’m not on the phone with her, because she declined to be interviewed. She wouldn’t even take my call. So I couldn’t ask her about her column, titled “Nation’s crap-ital,” in which she recounts a recent drive into the city and claims to have encountered neighborhoods that were “smelly,” “murky,” “putrid” and “vile.” “The area’s a sewer,” she wrote.
So, alas, no interview. All I have are the questions I was going to ask her. Here they are:
I mean no disrespect, Cindy, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but might you have accidentally gotten off at Philadelphia, and not realized it?
I ask this because I was born in New York City and lived there for exactly 22 years, and have lived in the District now for exactly 22 years, making me something of an authority on the two cities’ comparative virtues. To me, a New Yorker complaining that Washington is dirty is kind of like a cockroach complaining that a kitten is disgusting.